By Cassidy Conley
In honor of the last day of Mental Health Awareness month, I wanted to shed light on something that has impacted women more than you may know. Multiple studies suggest that 50% to 75% of women are likely living their lives with undiagnosed ADHD. That's right—many women have gone their entire lives without knowing they have ADHD, which can enhance self-frustration when they can't get everything done. Truth be told, white men are diagnosed with ADHD more often, but women of color are significantly more likely to have it due to various lifestyle factors. While this post is not an official appointment, it is done with a lot of research. If you find that you frequently experience these symptoms, it is recommended that you reference the resources at the end of this post for a diagnosis. Identifying and understanding ADHD can be a crucial step towards managing your symptoms and improving your overall quality of life.
What is ADHD?
ADHD is often perceived primarily as a disorder characterized by hyperactivity, but this is just one aspect of a complex and multifaceted diagnosis. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurological condition that manifests in patterns of inattention, which may include or exclude hyperactivity and impulsivity. These symptoms can significantly interfere with daily functioning and activities.
ADHD is one of the most prevalent mental disorders, and its diagnosis rates are increasing rapidly among both men and women. However, there is a notable gender disparity in diagnosis rates. Men are diagnosed with ADHD nearly 69% more frequently than women. Specifically, 5.4% of men in the U.S. have received an ADHD diagnosis, compared to just 3.2% of women. This discrepancy is highlighted in the research conducted by health professionals Ortal Slobodin and Michael Davidovitch, whose findings shed light on the gender differences in ADHD diagnosis rates. The reasons for this disparity are clear, we don't fit the stereotype, leaving potential biases in diagnostic criteria, and variations in the likelihood of seeking medical evaluation.
This is important because ADHD significantly influences daily activities, both big and small. Many individuals live with ADHD without recognizing the consequences or symptoms, yet it affects various areas of their lives, including work, school, and personal lifestyle. By becoming aware of the symptoms and obtaining an official diagnosis, individuals can gain insight into how ADHD may have influenced different aspects of their lives. This awareness is crucial for developing coping mechanisms and strategies that can help mitigate the impact of ADHD. Understanding one's diagnosis allows for targeted interventions and supports that can improve overall daily function. So, here are a few signs you may have undiagnosed ADHD.
1. "Tomboy"
If you were recognized as a "tomboy" growing up because you were full of energy and often played rough, this could be a sign of ADHD. You might have preferred engaging in high-energy activities like basketball or other physically demanding pursuits because activities like painting nails or playing dress-up felt too slow-paced and boring. That was me. Still is me even as a young adult.
As women, you might no longer be labeled as a tomboy, but you could still experience social challenges that are typically deemed more acceptable for men, such as talking a lot (loudly) or tons of movement like pacing or fidgeting.
Navigating platonic or romantic relationships can also be difficult if you find yourself more energetic and talkative than your peers. If social outings feel overwhelming, this could be another indication of ADHD. Recognizing these patterns and their potential link to ADHD can help you understand your behaviors better and seek appropriate coping strategies.
2. Productivity
Being in a work environment can be particularly challenging for women with ADHD because it's loud and overstimulating. We find ourselves walking around or conversing with co-workers instead of getting work done due to the constant distractions. Despite our best efforts to keep our workspace tidy, it often ends up cluttered with papers within a few days, adding to the overwhelm. Organizing our environment or schedule isn't our strong suit, and while everyone misses a deadline occasionally, for us, it's a frequent occurrence. We might submit work late or miss tasks completely, even though we use calendars and planners to try to stay on track.
On the flip side, we may experience hyperfocus on activities that we gravitate to, allowing us to meet deadlines and be punctual for those tasks. This selective focus can give the impression of laziness or lack of effort, but it's a matter of how our brains naturally prioritize tasks. We are willing to work hard and complete less interesting tasks, but our brains naturally gravitate towards what it finds stimulating, even if we enjoy tasks that our brains don't prioritize.
For example, I love playing the piano, and I try to learn new songs as much as I can. But, I also love figure skating, exercising, writing, politics, and so much more. I go through spells where I don't play at all because I am more interested in something else like canvassing the community. It's not that I don't enjoy playing the piano; it's just that when you are hyperfocused, you only have a select amount of attention, so all of my interests compete for the number one spot. Understanding this dynamic can help us manage our time and energy more effectively. By recognizing when we are hyperfocused on one task to the exclusion of others, we can make conscious efforts to balance our interests and responsibilities, ensuring that we are fulfilling our commitments while still indulging in our passions.
3. Daily Life and Decisions
Work and school can be overwhelming for women with ADHD, but their personal daily lives can feel even more suffocating with constant tasks. Despite making budgets and planning to save, they often continue to overspend. Papers are perpetually unorganized in their environments, appearing like trash, even though they contain important notes that can no longer be located.
Decision-making is another major challenge. We feel so overwhelmed that we either let others make decisions for us or spend an inordinate amount of time fixating on one aspect, neglecting other key factors. This discourages us from wanting to make decisions in the future.
Additionally, starting projects with enthusiasm only to jump to the next one repeatedly leaves us feeling like we're constantly at square one. This creates frustration as we see people we grew up with surpassing us, despite knowing we are just as capable, if not more so. Though women with undiagnosed ADHD tend to compare, it is not out of jealousy. It is solely out of frustration as we strive to do better. Little did we know it is comparing apples to oranges.
4. Self-Esteem
Women with undiagnosed ADHD often grapple with poor self-esteem, largely because growing up without a diagnosis meant our behaviors and patterns were misunderstood. This misunderstanding often led to self-blame and rejection. We frequently had problems picking up on social cues, which made us feel awkward and out of place in social settings. We also struggle with unintentionally saying things that were considered hurtful or inappropriate further complicated our social interactions. I remember getting called out for this all too well.
As a result, many of us experienced peer rejection and bullying, making it difficult for us to form and maintain friendships. These negative social experiences in childhood and adolescence often led to social anxiety and a persistent feeling of being unable to relate to other women. This sense of isolation and difference can carry into adulthood, manifesting in difficulties with social relationships. While I don't see a decline in my own self-esteem now, there was a point in my journey where it was a prevalent issue. I still see struggles in maintaining relationships, though I know a lot of people, I don't feel close to many. They are all pretty surface level because if it goes any deeper, I do tend to lose them.
The challenges we faced were not just limited to social settings. The pervasive sense of not fitting in or being misunderstood contributed to chronic low self-esteem. Constantly feeling out of sync with peers and experiencing repeated social failures reinforced a negative self-image. The cumulative effect of these experiences often leads to long-term emotional and psychological consequences.
Additionally, the internalized self-blame and frustration from these unrecognized symptoms can result in a higher susceptibility to anxiety and depression. Many of us only receive an ADHD diagnosis later in life, often when seeking help for these secondary mental health issues. By that time, we may have developed coping mechanisms that, while functional, do not address the root cause of our difficulties.
5. Optimistic Beyond Compare
This is something I find incredibly challenging, and it often exacerbates my difficulties. While it might appear as though we are daydreaming, our minds are actually racing at full speed. In our moments of downtime, we instinctively seek out new activities or projects, whether it's joining a dance team or starting a blog, *cough cough*, even if our moment of relaxation is brief. We tend to overcommit because we struggle to sit still, despite feeling tired and sometimes wanting to rest. Our lives resemble the chaos of our surroundings, with unorganized commitments stemming from our ambitious goals and the various symptoms of ADHD competing for attention.
For instance, during my freshman year, I juggled a 35-hour work week alongside commitments to a speech team, a figure skating team, and multiple clubs, including serving on the executive board. During the holiday break, where I feel my symptoms are at its worst, instead of relaxing, I added more responsibilities by joining the debate team, taking on extra credits, enrolling in CLEP exam courses, coaching a debate league, and even learning Morse code!
-.-- . .- .... / .. / -.- -. --- .-- / .-. .- -. -.. --- -- / - .... .. -. --. ... which translates to "Yeah, I know random things"
Reflecting on that time is overwhelming because I was stretched thin, yet unable to resist taking on more leaving me at a dark place in my life. And, I tried my best to ensure that nobody would notice. This inclination to overcommit and constantly pursue new activities adds to the stress and disorder in our lives.
Resources!
If any of the symptoms mentioned above has influence your life, please consider looking into an initial consultation to get tested. You can talk to your doctor to refer you to a professional in your area. Here are a few online resources to get started today!
Online quizzes:
https://wisey-adhd.com/
I took this quiz and resulted in high levels ADHD. The quiz is super quick. I am not sure how accurate it is, but it's worth trying it out. After the quiz, they help you develop a plan to improve your life and better manage your ADHD.
This questionnaire takes a bit longer to complete. The questions are more detailed and serve as a prerequisite to a call with a doctor for an official diagnosis, unlike the site above. You will have the opportunity to go through counseling sessions at your convenience, either through messaging or calls. If you are looking for someone to guide you through your symptoms, this is an option for you!
Work or School -
Look into both your workplace and school resources if you are in either one. Some companies and universities offer free counseling to enhance your mental health accessibility, including ADHD specialists. Some even specialize in diagnosing women, so you won't be misdiagnosed or overlooked. For instance, at Wayne State University, there is a plethora of options available to students. Take advantage of these resources to receive the support and guidance you need.
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